During the major depression which took
place in the early part of the twentieth century, many families were blessed
with a large number of children. Both of my parents, who grew up during
this time, were members of large families. My mother had seven siblings and my
father had ten. One of my wife's closest friends during the early part of
our marriage was an elderly lady in the church we attended who had raised
twelve children during the depression. I've heard many people of this era say,
"We were poor but we didn't know we were poor because everybody was
poor." They would also say, "We didn't have much but we were
happy." Having grown up during the latter part of the twentieth
century, I find it a strange contrast that people often respond in shock when
they find out that my wife and I have six children. Furthermore, people will
often say that "two is enough" or, in some cases, "one is
enough". Some make comments to imply that they cannot afford more
than one or two children. How can this reasoning be reconciled with the
common tendency to have large families during the great financial crisis
of the depression?
I suggest that our
culture has influenced many parents to adopt a secular view of children rather
than a biblical view. Instead of viewing children as a blessing from God which,
when properly trained, will prove to be an asset to the home; we have come
to view them as an extra burden to be maintained. Some have said they
do not want their children to suffer the hardships that they endured;
therefore, they have gone to the other extreme of providing
everything for their children. Instead of training our children to be servants,
we have trained ourselves to serve them. Yet our perfect example, Jesus Christ,
said "For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to
minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45).
If we are to see a
change for the better in our day, we must again adopt the biblical pattern
for training our children. This begins by first adopting a biblical
attitude toward them. Notice the language of divine inspiration as given
in Psalm 127, "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of
the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are
children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they
shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."
(Psalm 127:3-5). The first statement in this portion of scripture identifies the
Christian's attitude toward his children. They are "an heritage of the
Lord:". They are a possession which God has graciously committed to our
care. They may have been "planned" or "unplanned" from a
human point of view, yet the Christian believes that "the fruit of the
womb is his reward". The conception and development of a child in the
womb is indeed a work of God (see Psalm 139:13-17).
Secondly, we must
understand and assume our responsibility, "As arrows are in the hand of a
mighty man; so are children of the youth." As parents, especially fathers,
we must learn and implement the biblical principles for training our children.
We must approach this responsibility with biblical skill (wisdom) in the same
way an experienced archer would direct his arrows to strike the target. In
other words we are to "Train up a child in the way he should
go..." (Proverbs 22:6). The book of Proverbs is the most valuable
resource we have to help us obtain this skill. Children are born with a
sin nature that is prone to manifest itself through selfish rebellion (Proverbs
22:15a). This rebellion is generally revealed at an early age when the child
doesn't get what he wants. He attempts to declare his independance from
all authority by "pitching a fit". At this point, either the parent
is trained by the child to grant the child's request or the parent takes
advantage of the opportunity to train the child. It is also at this point that
the parent chooses to trust God's method of training or trust the philosophies
of the world's "experts". God's method is very clear,
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction
shall drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15). The
word "rod" simply means "a branch or offshoot" or as we
more commonly call it, "a switch". Notice this is not a
"rod of abuse" but a "rod of correction". When utilized
consistently as directed in the Book Of Proverbs, the stinging sensation of the
rod is God's way of training the child to discipline himself not to
respond sinfully when he doesn't get his way.
Finally, notice the long
term results of this type of training. "...they shall not be ashamed, but
they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." The city gates were places
of public gathering where the people transacted business, discussed politics,
etc. To say that our children will speak with the enemies in the gate is to say
that they will overcome the evil influence of the world when they leave
the secure environment of the home. Instead of being overcome
by the world, they overcome the world (See Romans 12:21 &
Philippians 2:14-16). In the words of Dr. Oswald J. Smith, "the
light that shines the farthest will shine the brightest at home."
We invite you to
worship with us at Fort Wayne Primitive Baptist Church located at
2006 Nuttman Avenue directly across from Brooklyn Medical Associates. We meet
each Sunday at 10:30am. For more information, contact pastor Buddy Abernathy at
(260)417-7839 or BuddyAbernathy@juno.com
Elder Buddy Abernathy
Fort Wayne, Indiana
July 12,
2005
Printed with Permission